Category: This: Week in Review
Published on Sunday, 10 June 2012 07:04
Written by Chris
Now, on with the show!
Chaos Muppet Versus Order Muppet
Here are 2kob, one of our most sacred traditions is binarily labeling people. Right-handed, left-handed
. Gay, straight. Good, bad. Pretty, ugly. White, black (by which we mean not white
). 0, 1. It's all good. So you can imagine our glee at discovering new ways to bifurcate the world.
Every once in a while, an idea comes along that changes the way we all look at ourselves forever. Before Descartes, nobody knew they were thinking. They all believed they were just mulling...And before Freud, nobody understood that all of humanity could be classified into one of two simple types: people who don’t yet know they want to sleep with their mothers, and people who already know they want to sleep with their mothers. These dialectics can change and shape who we are so profoundly, it’s hard to imagine life before the paradigm at all.
The same thing is true of Muppet Theory, a little-known, poorly understood philosophy that holds that every living human can be classified according to one simple metric: Every one of us is either a Chaos Muppet or an Order Muppet.
Thanks, Slate, for bringing this to our attention. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a plate full of cookies (by which I mean a vat full of meth) to devour.
Who doesn't love trolls
? Angry, misogynistic
screeds typed on subterranean workstations are the Beowulf
s and Sonnet 18
s of this late age. It is only proper that we compose love songs to these fine anonymous folk who bravely inform us that they are the 'first' to comment, and that every woman online is a bitch if she doesn't show her tits and a slut if she does.
At brunch blog-meeting at the Oxbridge Motel, Brangelina and I chortled about how ginormously ugly most portmanteaux are. What are portmanteaux, you ask? Oh, you poor pomisexual foon.
Yes, you could simply grab a list of common(-ish) blended words, but pro-sumers will enjoy the fresh fungasms at Wocky Words
Hat tip to the reliably joygasmic Rag Bag
for sharing this with the world.
(I'd be remiss if I didn't mention my favorite portmanteaux of all time, thants
If you are like me (by which I mean, a penile-American), you never leave the house without a pound of circus-grade make-up caked on with a spatula. But that's because we work for the circus. For the rest of you (by which I mean vaginal-Americans, or really, vaginal-any-countrians, and increasing, even penile-persons, I guess), you may wish to be a little more subtle with your preparations. But, what if you've been hitting the old Jesus juice pretty hard? Never fear, drunk ladies, Jenna Marbles has a tutorial for you.
Now, observant netizens will already be aware of Jenna, most likely from the very viral (and no, I'm not referring to her vagina!) vlog post, also about make-up, How to Trick People Into Thinking You're Good-looking.
The one we're highlighting isn't even her most recent, but it is the one that someone sent me a link to, so...
This one is long. But, Chef Boy-ar-dee, is it weird. Hat/tip, io9
Prometheus - The Papercut Trailer
By now, if you care about Prometheus at all, you've probably already seen it, wrote a scathing blog post (sclog) about it, then secretly went back and watched it again.
Never-the-less, watch this painstaking labor of love and feel creeped out all over again.
Leeroy Jenkins: Re-imagined
What may be the biggest giant raid fuck-up ever (or at least the biggest to be well documented), the Leeroy Jenkins story
, while widely disseminated, has never been properly told. Until now. Behold, "Leeroy Jenkins - the Bank Heist".